The Hammers went on the road again for this tough looking away fixture to Harpenden. Harpenden have a decent home record and most recently beat Enfield 47 -7. The Hammers knew it was going to be a tough game. This was made all the tougher when, upon arrival, a few of the lads went for a quick look around the impressive Harpenden club house. Unfortunately for those that did go for a wander, they were greeted by a collection of photos that wouldn’t be out place in an evidence bag for a police investigation into unusual sex cults. This upset that lads quite a bit but worse was to come. Rounding the top of the stairs leading to the bar, a photo came into view of one of our own, James ‘Unkempt’ Leach, naked, bold as brass, stood in a field with only a very small rugby ball covering ‘The Small Man from Shirley’. We can only think he was kidnapped from London, taken against his will to rural Hertfordshire and forced into this despicable act. The lads that saw the photo were shocked to the core and weren’t able to take any part in the warm up disrupting preparations.

When the game started The Hammers had the benefit of a very strong wind and significant slope. This was going to be a game of two halves.

Like most games really.

The Hammers began to make immediate use of the conditions and immediately put pressure on the home side. With the Hammers pack getting considerable joy at the scrum it wasn’t long before chances came along. From a couple of 5 metre scrums it looked certain that big John ‘Bionic Man’ Mowbray was going to flop over. Unfortunately the big kiwi lacked the finesse at the base to capitalise. It was said that his touch resembled that of Carlton Palmer, the Sheffield Wednesday midfielder, who, it was said, had a great engine and covered every blade of grass during a game. However it was then pointed out that this was because of his terrible first touch.

Due to the elements it was always going to be difficult for the home side to work their way up field however they very nearly did get the first score when their young centre broke through the middle from inside his own half. Showing good gas he made it up to the hammers 22; however he was not reckoning on the aforementioned James Leach, reeling him in and making an excellent cover tackle. Comments from the grandstand suggested that in order to get up that sort of pace, Leachy must have de haired his whole body for less drag. A far cry from the old Leachy.

The Hammers got back down to the attacking third and finally made it count. After a series of pick and go’s, the ball fell to Barry ‘The Sommelier’ O’Sullivan, he kept low and powered towards the line. Unfortunately, showing the leg power of malnourished battery hen, he was not able to make the whitewash. He did, however, do the next best thing and slip the ball in behind to a big man with a better chance of getting the five pointer. Ali ‘Little Fella’ Lines did the honours and powered over. The Gob Wotton added the extra two points with an excellent kick in difficult conditions.

The rest of the first half passed by in a whirl of frustration with Hammers not quite able to get any more points. This frustration proved to be too much for one Hammersmith front rower who lost his cool and got to know the Harpenden open side. A 10 minute breather for ‘The Puppy’ ensued. With such benefit for the visitors from the slope and wind in the first half we all knew it would be a very tough next 40.

Poor disciple for the first 20 minutes of the second period was piling additional pressure on the Hammers. After a sustained period of pressure and some decent goal line defence, the home side finally went over. The kick was missed, 5 – 7 to the Hammers.

HFRFC began to get back into the game with some sensible in to the wind rugby, keeping it fairly narrow with pops off the side of the breakdown and runners off 10. This got the Hammers into striking range and they needed to make it count. After some good inroads were made by Cameron ‘Tin Ribs’ Pfeffer the ball got tied up. Some more pick and go’s eventually were rounded off by Mowbray, the Bionic Man showing better control with his mitts than he did with his feet. The kick was missed but we now held a useful 12 – 5 lead.

The Hammers then lost Nick ‘Team Man’ Dray to a nasty cut to his lip, inflicted by his best mucker, The Gob Wotton. Also Rory Rigney came on for his first cap replacing Henry ‘The 5^th’ Paddison who had put himself around a lot during the first 50 minutes.

The home side were not going to give up and their mood was buoyed by another sin binning for the Hammers. This time Nick Kirkham diving over like he’d come off the 3 metre board and taking a 10 minute rest. Lots of pressure was coming on in the final 15 minutes. At one point Harpenden actually crossed the line but a fine try saving tackle from Cameron ‘Tin Ribs’ Pfeffer kept the attacker off the ground.

Hammersmith were able to soak up the remaining pressure and take a memorable 2 points from the long road trip.

Overall it was a workmanlike performance in difficult conditions and one which the lads can take satisfaction from. Additional good news comes from the fact the guys that saw the Leachy photo are now out of counselling.

Team: Goggin, Dray, Welch, Kirkham, Leach, O’Sullivan, Paddison, Mowbray, Lines, Stuart, Djikic, Reade, Pfeffer, Ringshall, Wotton. Blyghton, Rigney, Short)

Tries: Lines, Mowbray

The Scribe