The final game before the Christmas break saw the first return fixture of the season. The Hammers were away to London Zealand who were looking to do the double over the newly promoted team from West London after they had turned the Hammers over at Fortress Hurlingham just five weeks previous in close 20 25 game.

It was a bitterly cold afternoon under a milky sky in Gunnesbury park. The mood in the changing room on arrival was hardly one of enthusiasm. The team were looking forward to this one like a Mo Mowlam lap dance. However, the desire slowly built in the decidedly retro changing rooms and before long the warm up was under way.

The game started reasonably well for the visitors with some good early pressure. However this was undone with the home side scoring a well worked try under the posts after about 10 minutes. A slipped tackle in midfield allowed the line break and a good off load was all it required for the Kiwis to go 7 – 0 up. Hammersmith slowly built their way back into the game getting decent possession from both the line out and scrum. Hammersmith were soon on the board with a successful penalty after a previous missed effort from James ‘ The Metronome’ Weeks.

The breakdown was a fiercely competitive effort with Ryan Dilley particularly combative. This led to a number of penalties on both sides as the teams strived for supremacy at this critical area. John ‘Six Million Dollar Man’ Mowbray and Alex ‘Cue Ball’ Neilson were offering themselves as runners in the loose and making good yards. Barry ‘Wine’ O’Sullivan also had a crack at the crash ball. However he probably regretted it when he found himself three feet in the air, going backwards at a rate of knots, with two fellas large enough to be extras in Nacho Libre about to land on top of him.

The home side then extended their lead with a further try. This time intense goal line pressure finally told as the Kiwis drove over from a pick and go after the Hammers were too slow to even up the numbers on the fringe defence.

This set back seemed to rally the Hammers however and they were soon up the other end of the pitch, up the hill, putting some of their own pressure on the opposition. After a few phases Ali ‘New Anger Management’ Lines threw a dummy and went for the line. Unbelievably he happened to find a freakishly strong defender who was able to hold him up over the line. From the resulting 5 metre scrum, after some trash talking from the LNZ hooker about the remoteness of possibility of a push over try, what happened, but a push over try with ‘Six Million Dollar’ Mowbray dotting the ball down. The conversion duly followed. At the break it was 12 – 10 to LNZ with the game very much on.

The second half was again quite a tense affair. The Hammers seemed to have lifted their game and we enjoying playing down the hill. James Weeks and Adam ‘The Mute’ Wotton both probing the corners well with raking kicks. The field position paid off for the visitors when Cue Ball Neilson went over after three or four pick and goes. It seemed from close at hand that Cue Ball got a little help from his close friend James ‘EasyJets’s Best Customer’ Leach with the last couple of inches to the line as he put his hand up that back of Neilsons shorts for few seconds with a knowing smirk on his face. Either way Leachy’s special move had the desired effect and the Hammers had another 5 pointer. The kick was missed but the Hammers were in front for the first time in the game, 12 – 15.

Sean ‘My Little Pony’ OMalley was then replaced by Metric ‘Painted Lady’ Itigeokki who got straight into the action when he received a high shot from his opposite number. Luckily Metric showed that well known Islander cool head and didn’t respond.

The Kiwis came back with a penalty from in front of the sticks to draw the game level. The Hammers worked the field position again and some good recycled ball went right and into the hands of Brett ‘The Traitor’ Stuart and he drew the last man before passing to Sly ‘The Crab’ Olutayu who went over in the corner. To keep things interesting James Weeks missed the kick again. The Hammers were now 20 -15 up.

The home side threw everything at the Hammers for the last 10 minutes or so but the visitors defence held out.

An away win at second placed LNZ represented a good afternoon’s work for the Hammers who are placing themselves in real danger of being in the mix come the end of the season. There is only 1 point separating 2^nd to 4^th place so in the famous words of Alex Ferguson, it is really ‘Squeaky Bum Time’.

Man of Match: Ryan ‘The Face’ Dilley. An excellent #7 display full of endeavour and complete disregard for the rules.

Tin Man: Rory Matthew. Had the chance to bury the game but dropped the ball with the line at his mercy.

Team: Goggin, Dray, Blyghton, Leach, Neilson, O’Sullivan, Dilley, Mowbray, Lines, Weeks, Matthew, Stuart, O’Malley, Olutayu, Wotton. Hird, Anderson, Metric.

Tries: Mowbray, Neilson, Olutayu.

The Scribe