London Scottish arrived at Hurlingham third in the league to face a Hammers side that, despite promising individual moments, were yet to gel as a cohesive unit. This was, however, a strong Hammers side that featured, with few exceptions, players that knew each other and had played together before.

So it was disappointing that a mixture of poor communication, worse discipline and the perennial Hammers condition of not noticing that there was a game going on led to early scores for the visitors. Within the first twenty minutes a distinctly lacklustre performance meant that the Hammers had leaked two tries, one of which was converted, and a penalty leaving us 15-0 down. 

On balance it could have been even worse. As well as the missed conversion there was a missed penalty, which could have stretched the difference even further. Despite the next 10 minutes being a slight improvement Hammers were able to draw precious few positives from the first thirty. To this point the biggest threat that the Hammers had posed had come from excellent sniping runs from Robin Heyman at scrum half and the elusive Charlie Bevan at full-back. Both appeared able to break the line freely but without sufficient support neither was able capitalise on the space they had created. 

With ten minutes to go before the break the referee, tired with persistent infringements at the break down, yellow carded Al “What me ref?” Hamilton. Hamilton was by no means worst offender just the most recent and therefore the player to take the punishment.

Scottish scored their last try of the half as a forced pass was intercepted leaving a simple – if quite long - run in under the posts. With the conversion sailing over the half ended 20 points to nil (to my reckoning). 

At the break Skipper O’Malley, content that his 100 per cent record would remain intact, gave his troops a rousing call to arms. Curiously while this was going on the referee could be found furtively leafing through Adding up for Dummies and fiddling with an Abacus.

The second half started with Scottish in a commanding position and Hammers facing an uphill struggle. This position was compounded when early in the second half and despite an excellent covering tackle by winger Lam the Scottish scored once more; this time from well recycled ball and quick hands to create an overlap for their right wing. Despite the missed conversion the lead was insurmountable and the game appeared over. 

Unfortunately no one told the Hammers.

What followed was the best come back since the resurrection of Christ. With half an hour left on the clock O’Malley rang the changes which included the introduction of Hammers new boy Tony “the teenager” Richards, who replaced Ian “the quiet American” Powell who had worked doggedly and tackled well.

Richards is a recent graduate from the club’s Youth set-up and needs to bulk up a bit, but shows great promise for the future. This investment in youth soon paid off as the whipper-snapper took a short ball from his captain and went on a bullocking run downfield. The Scots’ backline, whose tackling had been patchy at times, were not overly keen on the new boy appearing (fleetingly) at inside centre and were even less keen on his hand off. He was finally pulled down inside the 22 where he fed Tom Parkinson with a great pop from the deck leaving the centre to crash through and claim the first Hammers try and leave a simple conversion.

This seemed to spark Hammers into life and finally the ball began to be recycled efficiently and runners started to regularly break the Scottish line. Two more converted tries, both for Parkinson and kicked by O’Malley, followed in quick succession, as the ball was kept alive with both forwards and backs combining to retain possession.

Understandably Scottish were rattled whilst Hammers appeared to grow in stature, secure in the knowledge that they were definitely 21-20 in the lead or losing 21 – 26: the referee being slightly unclear about the minor issue of the score line. Unperturbed Hammers continued to push forward and shortly earned a line out deep into the Scottish 22. The line out, which had been solid all day, was won and the ball recycled well – bringing every member of the backline into play before a quick ruck. Heyman fed O’Malley who put Felix “Cell Block H” Whitechapel and his new aerodynamic haircut into space. No longer held back by his flowing locks Whitechapel crossed the line and in a gallic show of flair dummied the grounding before sauntering under the uprights. The referee was not, however, a champagne rugby type of guy. He wasn’t a keeping count type of guy either but that is another story. He had bought Cell Block’s dummy wholesale and blown up as soon as Felix crossed the line, meaning the kick must be taken from nearer the touchline than the posts. A short discussion followed in which all seven backs volunteered, thought for a second, and then abdicated responsibility for the goal kick.

This left Skipper O’Malley with the most Hollywood of moments. He had led his ragbag band back from the brink, deployed timely substitutions and kicked all preceding conversions; the stage was set for a grandstand finish. Sadly this isn’t Hollywood and the well-struck conversion hit the post and bounced harmlessly away.

There was time enough for a final Hammers attack, which petered out when a wayward pass allowed Scottish to clear their lines. From a resultant scrum the Scots’ fly-half kicked the ball straight into touch bringing the game to an end. Both sides – elated with their performance - began to celebrate their win. The ref, you see, was not going to be a contender for the Fields Medal. He had twice given us the wrong score and in the end couldn’t decipher his own handwriting. Finally he worked out that Scottish were the victors by a solitary point.

In hindsight and in the spirit of good sportsmanship I do think that they had scored 27 points and were therefore technically the winners. More importantly though for thirty minutes Hammers 3s showed that they were capable of much more than they had produced recently and started to look like a side capable of challenging for a play off place once more.

- Deputy Scribe

Try scorers

Tom Parkinson - 3

Felix Whitchapel – 1

Conversions

Kevin O’Malley 3 from 4

Man of Match: Andy Best

Team:

Al Hamilton, Phil Cheevers, Dan Collins, Andy Best, Mike Robertson, Julien Draper, Ian Powell, Nick Goodwin, Robin Heyman, Kevin O’Malley, Felix Whitechapel, Wes Grant, Tom Parkinson, Stan Lam, Charlie Bevan, Al Philips, Chris Wade, Nik Dinning, David Cox, Tony Richardson